


The Past is Behind

by yaruna



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Friendship, M/M, POV Duo Maxwell, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaruna/pseuds/yaruna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duo finally meets everyone again after ten years of hiding. Duo POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Past is Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the WA 10 Year Challenge at FF.net.

Five million, two hundred fifty five thousand, nine hundred and seventy minutes since the war had ended. Five million, two hundred fifty five thousand, nine hundred and sixty minutes since I had done what I do best. I ran, and I hid.

There was nothing left for me after the war. The Gundams were going to be destroyed, and war was all I knew. Heero and Wufei had quickly gone to work with the Preventers, I assume because war had been all they knew as well. Quatre took over the Winner Enterprises completely, and Trowa went on the road with the troupe for a few years. When I heard that he’d returned and was working together with Quatre, I’d been relieved. They needed each other. The news clippings I’d gotten after that showed a much healthier and happier blond.

I haven’t spoken to any of them since before the final battle. I am not sure that I want to now either, but if I go where I intend to, I will pretty much be forced to say at least something. They had all done well for themselves after the war. They had jobs, wives, or for that part, boyfriends. And here was I. The lost Gundam pilot that the world forgot.

I turn to leave, only to find myself face to face with the man that I was particularly reluctant to see. The man that was also the main reason why I’d bought that shuttle ticket and come down to the ground to go to this reunion of sorts. My stomach feels as though it is trying to tie itself into knots as I attempt to come up with something, anything to say.

‘Duo.’ He breathes, just as lost for words as I, eyes slightly dilated in surprise.

‘Heero.’ I nod tightly and pull at my dress jacket uncomfortably. He looks to be completely at ease in his attire, with Relena at his side. Oh.

‘Good evening, Minister Peacecraft.’ I say stiffly, trying to find some resemblance of manners as I struggle not to be jealous of her position at Heero’s arm. The position that had once been mine, and still could have been mine, had I not left it open for someone else to claim.

‘Pleasure, Mr. Maxwell.’ She presses out between pursed lips. Apparently, I am not the only one who has a bit of trouble with manners this evening. She lets her gaze travel over me unabashedly, and I again find myself pulling at the hem of my slightly too short jacket.

‘I do hope you aren’t planning on leaving early, Mr. Maxwell.’ She says and I barely contain a sigh. It would have been fine for me to leave before anyone saw me, I could have stayed hidden without anyone being any wiser of the fact that Duo Maxwell was a coward. _Is_ a coward, might be more appropriate.

‘Not at all. I’m just grabbing some air before I go inside.’ Not a lie! At least not anymore, even though it would have been if I would have said it to myself sixty seconds ago.

Heero was entirely silent, but I notice him casting sidelong glances at me, trying not to be overly obvious about the fact.

‘Very well. We will expect to see you inside.’ Relena finishes, watching me with a distrustful gaze, and I am painfully aware that she knows exactly why I had turned around at the door.

I watch them leave. Heero puts his mouth close to Relena’s ear and whispers something too low for me to hear. But Relena laughs happily, and I again feel that twinge that tells me that what she has could have been mine. My heart feels as though it is trying to beat its way out of my chest and I wonder, not for the first time, why I’d chosen to come.

I draw a deep breath and adjust my jacket again. It looks fine as long as I don’t lift my arms. There would be no dancing for me tonight, not that I am expecting that anyone will ask, and I am certainly not planning on asking anyone.

I realize that I am stalling, but still adjust my braid just a tad, and pull my jacket down a bit again, before I open the door to let myself in.

I’m not sure what I had been expecting really, but I was sure this wasn’t it. I step into a large vestibule where a butler comes up, about to ask me for my coat, before he realizes that I’m not wearing any outerwear over my jacket. It is a lot warmer on Earth than it is on L2 so I had skipped buying a new fancy coat. Maybe I shouldn’t have.

The butler opens the door into the ballroom, where all the other guests are gathered, and I feel as though someone has punched me in the gut. Many of my old enemies are inside. People I have fired shots at; that I have tried to kill. And my old allies are there, mingling comfortably with said enemies. Who would have thought that so much could change in ten years?

‘Duo?’ I hear a small voice to my left and I turn, putting a grin onto my face, comfortably sliding into my old habit of always smiling.

‘Quat’!’ I say happily, not needing to fake that part, and hug him tightly as he comes up to me.

‘Oh, Duo, I’m so happy you’re here. How have you been? Where have you been? How did you get the invite?’ He asks in quick succession, not even letting me get a syllable in to answer him. ‘Why did you leave?’ He asks finally, and after this one, he looks at me sadly, but I chuckle softly, trying to dissuade the tension.

‘Hi, Quat’. I’m fine, and I’ve been around. Someone told me about the party, and you know I’ve never been one to miss out.’ I grin widely as I finish, but Quatre just turns his frowning up a notch.

‘You have been missing quite many parties, Duo.’ Trowa says as he comes in from the side. We give each other a handshake and I let his hand go before he lets go of mine, lingering.

‘I have been otherwise engaged.’ I smile, but my smile is slipping now and I wish that they would just let it go. Ten years ago, I would have made a joke and danced away merrily. It wasn’t quite as easy to slip into my old persona as I had thought it would be, and I realize that I have changed quite a lot during these years as well.

‘Well…’ Quatre says, obviously a bit uncomfortable with the situation, but he quickly recovers and smiles at me gently. ‘Wufei and Heero will be happy to see you. Do you have anywhere to stay afterwards?’

‘I’ve got it covered.’ I answer, expecting that he will be satisfied with that, but he looks straight into my eyes for a moment.

‘You always were a bad liar, Duo. I’ll expect you to stay in our guestroom for the night. Please, find me when you’re ready to retire.’ He says firmly and I get the urge to salute him, but I manage to curb that particular notion.

‘Yes, sir.’ I grin instead, and I laugh as he rolls his eyes at me and takes a step away as to leave. But he hesitates and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug again.

‘I am so happy to see you again. We’ll talk more tomorrow.’ He says before he lets me go and hurries away before I can answer.

I look up at Trowa, and he raises an eyebrow before he quirks the corner of his mouth upwards.

‘Don’t leave again.’ He says and he also gives me a hug. It was softer than the one Quatre had given me, a lot more hesitant.

He also leaves without giving me a chance to reply, and I realize it is because they are afraid of what my answer is going to be.

I snatch up a drink from the tray of a passing server and pull at my jacket with my other hand. With the drink in hand, I feel a bit less out of place. But I still move to get towards the balcony, to wrap my head around the fact that enemies were now supposed to be… I’m not entirely sure what, but if not friends, then at least not enemies anymore.

I am surprised to see that people recognize me, and I am stopped more than once by old allies. We congratulate each other for making it through alive, take a sip from our drinks, and then I keep moving.

I had been right. It was stuffy in here.

‘Maxwell!’ I hear Wufei’s voice and I freeze, wondering what I’d done against him now, before I realize that I couldn’t have done anything at all, so I turn back with a smile.

‘Hey, Wufei.’ I say and he frowns.

‘No nickname?’ He asks with a hesitant smile, and I stare at him in surprise.

‘You never seemed to like them.’

‘I have… found myself to miss them.’ He says. ‘On occasion.’ He adds quickly, probably because he sees the grin forming on my face.

‘You all have… stayed in touch?’ I ask, wrapping one arm around myself as I take a sip from my drink. He frowns as I do it, and I understand what it looks like, but now it would look even stranger if I let my arm fall away from its protective position.

‘We have. We tried to find you.’ He says and I shrug dismissively.

‘I’m pretty damn good at hiding.’ I try for a grin, but I quickly feel it slipping.

‘Duo…’ He says and I blink, wondering if I am really standing here with Wufei. Wufei, who always seemed fifty years older than his age, and never would have deigned to call me by my first name. ‘We have all missed you, you know.’

‘I… I’ve missed you guys too.’ I say, and I hear the truth in my own words. I have missed them, so much. All this time, I have been telling myself that I am fine on my own. That I don’t need anyone else. I never let myself remember how much this gang, this band of brothers, had once meant to me. How much they still mean to me.

‘We won’t let you leave us again.’ Wufei says and I am flabbergasted as he too wraps his arms around me in an embrace.

I really need that balcony now.

Before I can take even one step, a gloved hand is laid upon my arm.

‘Dance with me, Mr. Maxwell.’ Relena says and I show her my still half-full glass as a kind of polite way of declining. She tightens her lips momentarily in annoyance before she takes the glass away from me, and fixes a server with her gaze. He immediately comes and takes it away, leaving me without excuses.

‘I am quite a bad dancer, Minister Peacecraft.’ I chuckle uncomfortably, but I hold my hand out to her in invitation.

‘Just try to avoid stepping on my feet and you will do fine.’ She smiles politely, puts her hand in mine and I wrap my other hand around her waist as I lead her in dance.

She is a quite petite woman. Petite, but always strong. Not that the two are mutually exclusive. She has always gone for what she wants, and she always seems to get it. It might have vexed me at one point, but I am, and always have been, damned impressed by her. If only our wants and beliefs hadn’t clashed so hard, I am sure we would have been friends.

‘Duo.’ She says softly after a while and I have to strain to hear her over the noisy atmosphere at the ballroom.

‘Please, talk to him.’

‘What?’ I have to ask, not sure I understand what she is talking about.

‘Heero.’ She clarifies. I stop moving and look down at her, but she is looking steadily at the floor.

‘Why?’ I finally ask.

‘He hurts.’ She says and tilts her head upwards to look into my eyes. I can see the tears that she is fighting to hold back.

‘Why?’ I can only ask again, because I realize she isn’t talking about any physical pain.

‘He misses you.’ She says, louder than she had intended, because she swallows tightly and takes a steadying breath. ‘He should tell you, I think.’ She sighs and hooks her arm in mine and leads me towards the balcony. I catch myself thinking “finally” in relief, but then I understand just who will be out there and I drag my feet behind me.

Relena lets out a sharp breath of air and stops. She looks at me in anger and exasperation, and I wonder what I did to make her change so completely.

‘You almost broke him when you left last time.’ She says. ‘Now you get to go out there and fix it.’ She holds the door to the balcony open for me, and I take a moment to appreciate that the Queen of the Earth Sphere is holding the door open for a common street-rat from L2 before I move to the other side.

He stands by the railing, looking out into the darkness. Ten years ago, there had been a large pond just to the right, where he was looking. I vaguely wondered what would be there now.

‘I’m sorry, Relena.’ He says. ’I’m coming in a moment.’ He sounds a bit choked up and I frown. She had said I almost broke him? He was hurting because he was missing me?

‘It’s…’ I don’t get any further as Heero whips around quickly, startling me. I just have time to see the suspicious shine in his eyes before he turn back away from me.

‘Duo, I would really rather be le…’ He stops himself from completing the sentence fully and I sigh. He had been about to say left alone, but if I knew him correctly, he was afraid that I would take it the wrong way, and run away again. I won’t run, not this time.

‘I’m not leaving.’ I say and walk up to stand next to him. I lean my elbows on the railing and join him in watching the darkness.

‘There used to be a pond there.’ I say mainly to break the silence, because I know that he remembers.

‘There still is.’ He says, and I imagine a small smile on his face. It is where we shared our first kiss.

I am struggling to find something more to say, but then he sighs deeply.

‘I loved you.’ He says and my stomach is curling up, in joy, and in fear.

‘And I loved you.’ Even though my heart is telling me that I am stupid, and that I should tell him that I still love him, I don’t. Because ten years is an awful long time to go without seeing someone.

He has changed, and so have I.

‘I never meant to hurt you.’ I say instead, and he puts his hand on my arm. I straighten up and look at him. He looks sad, but somehow, he still looks like he knows. Like he’s always known why I had to do it.

‘I know.’ He says and we lean forward to meet each other in a soft kiss. It was nothing big. Just an apology, and, I think, a test, to see if we still feel the same. I have no doubts of my feelings anymore. As I look into his eyes, I know that he doesn’t doubt himself either. But he still doubts me.

‘Why?’ He asks and I swallow tightly.

‘I guess… I was lost.’

‘Are you still?’ He asked, leaning in closer to me again, close enough for us to kiss again.

‘What?’ I ask dumbly.

‘Are you still lost?’ He asks and slides his arm around my waist.

‘No… I don’t think I am.’ I say breathlessly and we kiss.

I’be been stuck in the past for ten years. Now it’s time to look towards the future.

 

\- yaruna


End file.
